Poor little car...

This is not, in fact, my car, but this is what my car looks like.

I love my car very much. He's been faithful throughout the years, helping me stalk people and make a quick getaway when I need to, but lately he's been crapping out on me.

First he started to lose his "hair". My poor little car has several bald patches on his head now and needs a paint job pretty badly.

Then, the locks gave out. Instead of just flipping a switch, I have to operate them all manually now.

Then, the AC decided that every once in a while it could just stop working. When it's the middle of summer in Phoenix, Arizona, this is soooo not allowed.

Then! The front door decided that it refused to open. Even though the door was unlocked, it would not open no matter how hard a I pushed on it. So I had to crawl over to the passanger side and go out that door. And when I walked around to the driver's side and tried to at least lock the door, it refused to lock.

Poor car. Please don't die.

Things I learned while in Hawaii

-There should definitely be a swimsuit police. There are far to many fat old men in this world who think they can wear speedos in public and way to many old ladies with saggy boobs and bums who think it's ok to wear a bikini. Swimsuits should be body AND age appropriate!

-It's much harder to shave with just a razor blade and no actual razor than one might think. Never forget to bring along BOTH.

-It is definitely possible to get sunburned THROUGH your swimsuit. Apparently the sun doesn't just burn whatever skin is exposed. Make sure to sunblock underneath your swimsuit too, otherwise, like me, you'll be sporting a backwards tan.

-It is possible to get sunburned when it's cloudy and dark out. You are never safe. Noooot cool.

-Never wear shorts over your swimsuit. If you do, you'll be stuck with a really bad tan line. If the sun is feeling especially cruel, it'll only burn one of your legs.

-Pufferfish are hard to scare. No matter how many times you try to step on them or kick them, they won't puff.

REJECTION

My whole life I've always dreaded that someday I might have to break up with/reject someone I really liked because they weren't Mormon like me. For some reason though, it never occured to me that someone I liked and who liked me would be the one rejecting me because I am Mormon. Ouchhhhhhhhh.

Fashion pet peeves

Let's take just a minute to talk about my two latest fashion pet peeves.

Number One: Those awful jumpsuit things that every girl on campus seems to be wearing. I seriously do not get why these are a fad. They're so beyond ugly. People should have stopped wearing these at the age of two. If that late. And they make you look like you have a weird frontal wedgie! NOT sexy.

Number Two: Those shoes with the toes. BEYOND creepy. I could maybe see someone wearing them as watershoes at the beach or something. MAYBE. But I always see people wearing them around campus. And there is definitely not a beach on campus. These shoes seriously creep me out.

We live in Arizona. Not Hell.

Just because I'm at ASU and their mascot is a Sun Devil does not actually mean that it's hotter than hell outside. It is entirely unnecessary to make the classrooms so cold that one needs to bring a jacket in order to not freeze to death during a lecture. It's toasty outside. Not scorching.

Lamb = baby sheep

Yesterday, my friend told me he had only recently discovered that lambs were in fact baby sheep - not a completely different animal.

In an attempt to show him how dumb he was, I turned to my other friend and asked them if they knew the difference between a lamb and a sheep.

He goes, "Yeah, isn't one of them a boy and the other one is a girl?"

FACEPALM.

I wanna hold your hand

Today I learned that I am a total dunce when it comes to love. When guys try to give me a hint, I absolutely do not get it. Unless you slap me across the face with your love, I will remain oblivious. Case in point:
This story has been edited!!!!!! Bahahahahahahhahah!!!!!!!!
WHOOPS. Did not know that. No wonder I've never had a boyfriend..... Also! This picture came up while I was looking for one to go along with this blog: Like, what the heck?!?