Things I hate while driving

I despise driving. Or even just being in a car. Not only because I am an awful driver and nearly always end up injuring myself while out on the road, but because it feels like everyone else sucks at driving even more than I do which is really quite frightening. Also, some people are just dumb. So, here's a list of the things that annoy me most.

#1 That one person who, when a lane is blocked off by construction, thinks they can just drive past everyone to the very front of the line and then just expects you to let them in.

#2 Busy streets without a left turn arrow.

#3 ASU crosswalks

#4 Stupid people at the institute parking garage who can't seem to find their access card and make you sit there forever and wait for them.

#5 Really dumb license plates
9TEEN86
PHASSST
And.....are you ready for this one?
DA MOM E

#6 People with hot trucks who drive like pansies
If you have a hott sexy man truck, you should drive like a man. End of story.

#7 Cars with a backseat, but only two doors.

Hit (on) me baby, one more time!

I have recently discovered a love of hitting on people by texting them random song lyrics. It's actually quite entertaining and I have way more fun doing it than I really should. Anyhow, I figured I'd share a few of the lyrics I've sent so you can try sending them to people yourself next time you're bored. I've found that you usually get a better reaction when you insert the person's name who you're sending it to somewhere in the song if you can. I'll use the name Jeremy when I write these since he's the poor soul I usually send these too. If you can't find a place to put a name in, a few "..." will usually work pretty well too. They seem to make it more awkward which is definitely what we're going for here. Sometimes a winky face also works.

"Oooooooooo Jeremy, you're so fine! You're so fine you blow my mind! Hey, Jeremy! Hey! Hey! Hey, Jeremy!"

"I've got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim....."

"Jeremy....my life would suck without you...."

"Oh Jeremy, why can't you seeeeeeeeeeeeee, you belong with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Jeremy, won't you fly with me? ;)"

"Jeremy, I wanna write you a love song...;)"

"Jeremy, let's get physical! Physical!!!!!!!!!"

I think perhaps the best one I've ever done was this: "Jeremy, you and I could write a bad romance...." I'm pretty sure this actually caused him physical pain it was so bad. I'm fairly certain his response was something like this: "STOP!!!!!"

Poor Jeremy. :)

I say a little prayer for you

Dear girls who wear tube tops,

I pray that one day you will realize that that tube top does not make you look hot. All it does is accentuate your armpit fat and squish your boobs into a really weird shape.

Dear people walking around with umbrellas on a hot sunny day,

I pray that one day you'll realize that rain comes from dark gray clouds. Not the sun. You can leave your umbrellas at home.

Dear ladies man,

I pray that one day you'll realize that having five girls hanging off each arm does not make you look cool. It just makes you look like a pimp. In a bad way.

Dear girl with the really loud voice,

I pray that one day you realize that a loud voice does not make you cute. Nor does a REALLY loud voice make you super cute. You can be just as lovely by talking at a normal volume.

Dear world,

I pray that one day you realize you're not funny. Certain colored umbrellas and coincidental publishers are not funny.

Dear people drinking diet soda,

I pray that one day you will realize that diet soda is really not any better for you than real soda. If you're gonna drink crap, drink the real crap. Unless of course you think that diet soda tastes better.

Dear closet #2

I pray that the day I set you on fire you'll realize it's not because I hate you. I just want to make sure I never lose my crazy mind again.

Dear Drew,

I pray that one day you'll realize that Taylor loves you.

Dear girl wearing spandex leggings,

I pray that one day you'll realize that those are not pants. They're more like....an accessory for your legs.

Dear girls of the world,

I pray that one day you realize that boobs should be your best kept secret. Not the item you bring to show and tell. Every day.

Dear moms,

I pray that one day you realize people are lying to you when they say your newborn baby is cute. I also pray that one day they stop lying.

Dear me,

I pray that when you die, you don't burn in hell for trying to find pictures to go along with some of these while in the institute building. Particularly for the tube top one. Maybe the fact that the site was blocked will save you.

I AM ANGRY

I have always been slightly cynical, but I feel like a few months ago my life started going to crap and it just keeps getting worse and worse. Friends keep moving away, some move back unexpectedly, I've gotten callings that stress me out to no end, my biggest dream that I've held onto for about two years was crushed, I'm taking classes at school that bore me to no end, I hate talking to people and therefore am a bit of a homebody, and I've been stuck in a romantic rut for the past several years with no end in sight. I'm quite tired of feeling so angry all the time so I thought that maybe I could fix that by writing a blog on some of the few things that make me happy. Then maybe I won't feel like screaming out in anguish and punching the nearest person in the face.

Rainbows make me happy. Not so much the rainbows that appear in the sky after it rains, but more the idea of dressing up as a rainbow. I think it could be quite fun. I want to be a rainbow for Halloween. I'm going to dress in all sorts of bright colors and then glue tons of cotton balls to my socks and pretend they are clouds. However, I was told that the fact that I wanted to glue cotton balls to my socks and pretend they were clouds was one of the reasons I do not have a boyfriend. So this idea may not actually help me to get out of this romantic rut.....but I also kind of don't want to be with someone who does not appreciate my cloud feet.

Jonas L.A. I just started watching this on Saturday and I've already watched all the episodes that are out. They are so addicting! I live vicariously through their lives.

The smell of fabric softener makes my day all better. They only thing I like about doing laundry is smelling the clothes after they are dry. One of my friends always smells like clean laundry, so whenever I am near him, I make sure I inhale his goodness and let him know that he smells delicious.

This is my hot lab teacher from my biology class last semester. Now, even though he doesn't look super attractive in this picture, don't be fooled. Just wait til you see him in real life. It is an absolute treat! AND! He's smart! He studies honey bees. I love honey bees. :) I just happened to google him one day and I was super shocked when a picture of him actually came up!

Anyway. I'm done now. Turns out I have some sort of brain block and I can't actually think of anything else that makes me happy.